From Numb to Awake:
Why I Created This

I didn’t always feel the way I do now when I attend birth.

When I was a nurse, I was mostly disassociated. I wasn’t feeling much of
anything—just going through the motions, ticking boxes, managing tasks.
It hurts my heart to think of all the births I witnessed in that state. Births I
attended with so little presence or care. That wasn’t the kind of support women
deserved.

And still, even in that setting, I was touching something. The other nurses used to call me “Pit Fingers” (for pitocin) because women so often gave birth on my shift. Looking back, I hope it was because, even under fluorescent lights and rigid protocols, something in me still made space for women to do what they needed to do: to release their babies, their way.

Now, as a birthkeeper walking with women outside the system, I feel birth with an entirely different sensitivity. It is layered, energetic, primal, sacred. It asks something of us—not just skill, but internal steadiness. It asks for our presence, our self-responsibility, our capacity to feel and be with what arises.

This workshop was born from that journey. From my own path of numbed-out doing to deeply resourced being. I want every woman serving birth—no matter where or how—to have access to the kind of depth and sustainability that makes this work joyful, rooted, and clear.

Because when we’re resourced, we can serve from the inside out.